Saturday, September 24, 2011

No, no. I'm Aware Most Men Don't Think Like This. (Or Maybe They Do.)

What I'm about to write about can be taken two different ways. The first of which is that most men do not think like this. This is not because it is particularly "masculine" to think this way, but because most men will take anything that is thrown at them, especially when it is something socially deemed as "positive." [I would imagine both genders do.] The second way that this can be taken is that it's "okay" for men to think the opposite of this, as after all, if you consider the images that are thrown at us in advertising, how could you not think the "appropriate" way?

It's getting convoluted pretty fast, so let's get down to it. Here's the big confession on a weird way that I think: generally speaking, I get insulted whenever I get complimented on my looks.

Here's a potential counter argument to this: "Gee, Kevin. Have you looked in the mirror? You're one ugly motherfucker. If someone finds you attractive, you should take it as a compliment, you ungrateful, tubby piece o' shit."

And yes, I've been called "ugly" more in my life than I have been called "cute" or "hot." And yes, you're right: if someone finds me attractive, I should be grateful as it happens once in every blue moon.

However, here's the bottom line about this: I had nothing to do with my looks. At the end of the day, for the most part, no one is. I mean, you can dress up a potato all you want, but at the end of the day, it's still a potato. . . except now it awkwardly has lipstick, a wig, and poorly drawn eyes. Do you see where I'm going with this?

If you truly wanted to say, "Hey Kevin, you look great," please do me one huge favor: go up to my parents, and tell them: "Ya done good." You can even point to their genitalia and flash a "thumbs up" if you really want to get the point across.

This shallow world we live in is particularly frustrating as a thinker and as an artist. It rarely happens, but on occasion, I'll meet girls who spend multiple encounters complimenting my looks who will tell me: "I really get you. I like how much of a 'nonconformist' you are." [Not that I've EVER claimed to be against the grain, nor do I ever approve of the pretentiousness of ever 'getting' someone, but I digress.] However, when it comes down to getting dirty and nasty [and, no, I'm not talking about sex here] and talking about what they thought about something I've wasted hours and hours slaving on, they have nothing to say. They give me the look of a lost student who has obviously not done their homework, and I'm really unsure what is it that they "get." Very often, it seems like people like the idea of knowing an artist, instead of knowing the art.

I know this sounds like a bit of an ego-trip, but they really didn't bother to know me. And sure, you can argue: "well, can't you just like the person, and not the art?" I honestly don't think so. I can't speak for all creative people out there, but there's a personal aspect to their craft that just can't be separated. People who know the real me generally have a pretty strong grasp of what my songs or my writings are about. I suppose "liking" my art is irrelevant, but people who bothered to know me can actually make connections, and at the end of the day, that's what's truly important.

This can be applied to anything, but I feel it has been embedded in other finger-wagging, cliched sermons: discussions about how you should not judge a book by it's cover. However, even these are riddled with tired and overused sentiments that people are forgetting the big picture. I know this may seem a bit ironic, but I know I am tired of unattractive people whining because nobody gets them. The cliche goes that inside every ugly duckling, there is a beautiful swan, but I'm slowly learning that this usually not the case; sometimes inside of a shitty looking person IS a shitty person.

So the point of this is simple: don't be shallow. There are multiple ways to be shallow. You can think someone is "good looking," but don't bother claiming you "know" them or think this is all that should matter, because it matters jack shit to me. You can also believe that inside every ugly duckling there is good, but aren't you just really buying into an age old cliche? Why not just assume every jock is an asshole and ever nerd is a saint while you're at it?

At the end of the day, get to know someone. Give a fuck.

No comments:

Post a Comment